Step Two
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
“What can we believe in?”, the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions asks.
Well, we can certainly believe in anything we wish to believe in, whether right or wrong it does not matter, only that we believe in something and that that something is worthy of our dedication and attention. It must nourish our mind and aid direction to and along the path that frees us of the cages our egotistic mind encircles us with. That cage is a simple evolutionary protection mechanism of our feelings and morals. We feel secure in this cage like a dog may retreat to its favorite bed, knowing that it’s there for comfort and protection from an outside cold. That cold could be a hard floor or it could be the testing of ideals we’ve decided to be truths and to have our ideals tested is a direct attack upon our ego.
I have never believed in a God, though I’ve had many friends of many different religious beliefs and I have even attended their churches with them. More to know my friends better than to know their Gods better. I’ve always felt the Bible to be more of a guide for those seeking a father presence, a thing to guide a person to what they think is the “right way” of living and dying to only themselves.
The bible has been altered many times to meet the then current needs of controlling the population by instilling both morals and fear. Some would also weaponize these morals to bend public policy and some would suggest that one must give their hard earned money to the church as a moral obligation, for if they did not, they were not true believers and are possibly morally lacking. Churches may be good for communities to get to know about the people around them, people want to feel a part of something. I don’t want to be a member of any church. I’m not giving my money to someone or something that tells me how to vote and how to think, especially as some of these leaders and their leadership are grotesquely corrupt themselves. I even avoid businesses that advertise themselves with the Jesus fish and make it known for instance that they are a “Christian” run organization. Just a great way to prey on peoples’ morals.
I am however very spiritual. Always have been.
I am just a sack of meat in a very large environment. I do not understand the universe and I don’t trust anyone who thinks they do. Life and the infinity of everything is so large that it’s incomprehendible. Human brains are not so magnificent that we can possibly know how everything works. Just as a dog is too undeveloped to learn algebra. Not possible.
In this, I must understand that there are just too many things that I cannot even suggest I know everything about simply because I want to. I cannot say that there is or is not a God, I just choose to not care to pretend there is one because I fear death. Do I believe there is something? Sure. If life can exist, bigfoot could exist. Aliens could exist. Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory could exist in the middle of Earth or Mars. A God could exist. If this God wishes to judge me harshly simply because I choose to be curious, as I am told “He” made me to be, that’s on that bastard.
I do believe there is Something.
I choose to believe that powers we cannot often see surround us. Gravity surrounds us, yet we cannot see it. Black Holes exist, but we don’t understand them completely. I believe that there is a great possibility that we are not alone in the universe and that perhaps we each even have assigned somethings to watch over us. Though it’s a possibility, I choose to believe it to be my truth. It can be comforting. I have felt their presence for a very long time. My friend believes as I do, that people have “angels” assigned to them. Usually two, sometimes more. I have been in several situations where I have no explanation for the favorable outcome of a bad situation other than I verbally asked for help when it was needed. My requests were not outlandish, they were often simple. Sometimes it was instant, sometimes it took three days, three weeks, three months or more… but if I verbally ask for help from my angels and make it specific, they answer me by guiding me to the correct path to solve the issue, or the path just finds me. When I feel that things are good for me, yet bad for someone I care about, I will ask my angels to help them for a while… to guide them to the path they need. I send them away.
I have given myself to my own truth. A truth that I believe in my angels, and I give myself to them for guidance and clarifications. I don’t suggest anyone believe the same as me, I just don’t care if they do or not. My path, my angels. They guide me when I ask and they protect me when I need protection. I just ask.
-Josh
Caffeinated Viking 
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